Playing the water hazard

In a game of catch, my apartment is not that unlike a golf course. There’s a main fairway lined with all sorts of metaphorical bunkers, and it’s a challenge to find the green (let’s face it, there’s not a whole hell of a lot of green period – it’s a Manhattan apartment, people). Few would have the precision required to always keep the ball – or in this case, squeaky hamburger – on course…or so I like to tell myself.

Anyway, the most devastating hazard on this course is undeniably Ella’s water bowl. If I tried, I couldn’t dunk the hamburger in the bowl 3 times out of ten. Without trying, however, I hit it about 60% of the time. And it definitely puts a damper on our game...not to mention the hallway and kitchen floor. Who wants to play with a slimy hamburger that's so water-logged it shoots out dirty bowl water when you squeeze it? And who wants to keep mopping up the dirty bowl water and filthy puppy paw tracks running up and down the hallway EVERY TIME it happens (and it happens a lot)? Well the answer to both of those questions is of course, NOT ME! And frankly Ella doesn't care for the wetness and mess either and generally prefers her toys dry and clean. But that incessant energy motivates her to keep the game going. She may curse the bad shot and stare in disbelief that it's happened yet again, but ultimately she puts her game face back on, picks the hamburger out of the water and takes the 1-stroke penalty, and plays on...

"Haha momma! Your aim SUCKS!...Now what do we do?"

"Oh if you expect me to dip my nose in there and play with a wet hamburger, you've got another thing coming."

"FINE. But this is the LAST TIME I'm fishing this out for you! And I'm going to attack the mop when you try to clean up the floor too, just out of spite!"